The Contentment Conundrum

When I think of the ways in which we wish each other, the word which always stands out is ‘Happy’. ‘Happy Birthday’, ‘Happy New Year’, ‘Happy Diwali’, so on and so forth. And thus, most of our lives are spent in the pursuit of happiness. It is that alluring mirage which lurks tantalizingly around the next corner, beckoning with its siren call to come and capture it and then life will be ‘set’.
We choose to answer its call unheedingly most of the times and when we do have the wraith in our hands, more often than not we find that it is not what we wanted after all. We link happiness to umpteen things… an education, a job, a house, a car, a fat bank-balance, a perfect relationship, an ideal family. However, there exist people in the world who find something missing after achieving all this and yet others who float through life on a cloud of happiness despite having nothing. This then begs the question whether the pursuit of happiness was along the correct path to begin with.

And thus, we find our roundabout way to another feeling which resides within us all along, but which we fail to recognize… the feeling of contentment. Cultures the world over, irrespective of their history or geography, ancient or modern have placed this feeling above all others. In fact, a study conducted by Yale has revealed that even those cultures who have long subsisted in isolation, far removed from the trappings of modern civilization still placed a feeling of contentment as the crown of all other emotions.

We can all clearly recall certain days when we have been perfectly contented with life, with small trifles like watching the rain through the mist rising from a hot cup of coffee, enjoying a familiar piece of music or a good read, even though we might have heard or read it quite a few times before. The same can be said about food, the contentment coming from eating a perfectly simple and wholesome home-cooked meal that we have eaten a thousand times cannot be matched by the offerings of a Corden Bleau chef from a Michelin starred restaurant. That feeling of ‘God is in His heaven and all is right with the world’ is nothing but the feeling of contentment! A feeling not unlike the broad sweep of a placid river or the still surface of a tranquil lake.

The root of the word contentment comes from the Latin ‘contentus’, which means ‘held together’ or ‘intact/whole’. Although originally used to literally describe containers like cups and buckets and barrels, the word later evolved to mean something that describes a person who feels complete. It describes a person who is whole, without any external input, complete within and by himself.

For us Indians, this concept is not novel at all. It in fact forms the corner-stone of our philosophy, that we are all complete beings, microcosms of the Creator. But, more often than not, we tend to lose sight of contentment because of its closely related kin, the feeling of happiness. And thus, sets in the contentment conundrum.

No-one can deny the role happiness plays in our lives. It is essential to our sense of well- being contributing not only to our mental but also out physical health. It plays a vital role in our sense of identity and helps us set long term as well as short term goals for personal achievement so that we grow as individuals. But happiness requires an external input. It is a product of successful interaction with the world at large, a product of reaping the rewards of hard-work, gaining appreciation from our fellows, and of course of earning material means. It is something which we get from the world and something which is based on tangible things.

While there is nothing wrong in the pursuit of happiness, one has to keep eyes open to the fact that it can quickly become a never- ending race of wanting ‘something more’, which may not always be feasible. With each achievement, there remains that much less which can bring a pure, unadulterated sense of well-being. Besides, today’s world is a world of instant options. Never before have we been so spoilt for choice that we can change our entire life much in the style of snakes shedding outgrown skin. Options abound everywhere. Not happy with the way you look? Go for the nose, lip, cheek and chin package! Wardrobe gone stale? Trash it for new styles! Not contented in your marriage? Find a new partner and set up a parallel life on Whatsapp!

Herein lies the danger of an onset of frustration, hopelessness and sadness if the goals which we set for ourselves are not met with. At the same time, with the airbrushed lives which we show the world that we live, routinely doing the rounds on social media, it is easy to fall into the trap of envy and hatred. This is where the answering call of the popular slogan ‘yeh dil maange more!’ should be ‘Na Na’ instead of ‘Aha’! With our hearts and minds conditioned to such pipe dreams as “Life lambi nahi, Badi honi chahiye, Babumoshai!”, we are too busy in the search of that which will make our lives bigger. Ridden as we are with the bigger is better disease explains why most business operations make a killing with ‘Mega’ ‘Jumbo’ or ‘Giant’ sales or most drinks, whether soft or hard come as ‘Large’ or ‘Grande’. We are too busy looking outside for that which can be found inside, because more often than not, we are what we HAVE instead of being what we ARE.

And thus, contentment. That kernel of satisfaction which resides within all of us. Staying happy in the moment, irrespective of what you have, don’t have or will or will not have. The state which sees each moment as complete in itself, the fruit of the past and the seed of the future. The emotion which does not require much to sustain itself, after an initial careful cultivation. For which, nor is less, less, neither is more, more. A feeling of such equanimity that it not only envelopes the person feeling it, but also people interacting with him in its warmth and comfort. A feeling if sufficiently nurtured can truly make a person blissful.

The feeling of contentment can be best observed in children, who more often than not seek to play with the packaging of a toy even before unwrapping it, rather that the toy itself, for they are content with playing, not what they are playing with. The reason why they are overjoyed with the tiniest of things, be it a gamboling puppy, running through puddles or catching a sight of the moon through the clouds. It is because they seek and find joy in ALL situations unaddicted as they are to the bigger and the better, looking at the world through eyes which are not yet blinded by the stark glow of the big and best. Thus, any person who exudes contentment draws others to him like moths to a flame, for in him we see a reflection of the Creator and thus of ourselves.

As the world increases its pace to run its ‘bigger, better, brasher’ race, it is time to look for contentment, to choose how much is to be obtained from the world and how much from our own selves. Giving happiness a place in our lives is a duty, but finding contentment in what already exists is the very purpose of human life. In the words of the wise, ‘Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have’. For when you choose wisely, you no longer need to realize, you become the realized.
This solves the contentment conundrum to some extent, for,

Your soul is complete in itself,
Seek all you need therein
Peer not into the darkness without for the light
For it illuminates you from within….

And thus, my wishes to you for the New Year differ a little. I wish you contentment lasting not just in the New Year, but for all time to come.