Sweating The Small Stuff

“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way”

Napoleon Hill

The sight of jam-filled cookies fills me with indescribable nostalgia. The sweet centers linger in my heart long after the taste has vanished from the tastebuds. They carry me back to that happy and innocent time called childhood when the ‘dil’ was small, not just in size, but also in demands. When something as tiny as a jam biscuit emerging from my father’s pocket, had the ability to make me feel on top of the world. While the biscuit no doubt played its role, the real reason for the transports of delight was different.

Baba, as I called my father, was a busy man. Of course, being ‘busy’ in a small town, where I grew up carried a far different connotation from the harried (and sometimes unnecessary) ‘busyness’ of the metros which we see these days. Initially being too young to understand much, I only knew that he was a member of ‘committees’ and was a lawyer, all of which meant many meetings. The committees convened at least once a month to discuss things best known to them and since the meetings lasted for the better part of two hours, tea and biscuits were a given. The biscuits in question were the jam filled ones and Baba (who never ate any himself) always got one for me. Just one. Never more.

Now, when I look back on that little indulgence, I realize that the real source of joy was not the single biscuit (he could have well afforded to buy an entire packet) which he gave me, but the fact that he remembered my likes even amid his work. That he cared about the smallest things was the biggest reason to feel cherished. It was one of the first lessons that life was not a matter of milestones but of moments. This was the ‘dil has more’ moment for me and thus the small stuff became the corner stone of my life.

In one of my previous screeds, I have already mentioned that in addition to food, clothing and shelter, appreciation is also a basic human need. There are myriad ways to show it and while grand OTT gestures are the way to go these days, in the wise words of Winnie the Pooh (the real one, not his doppelgänger Xi Jinping), sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. It is why we sometimes come undone and save a small page hurriedly torn out of a notebook with ‘Happy Birthday’ scrawled across it in childish letters in garish markers, decorated with even more lurid puffy stickers of roses and crystals, though the child in question may now be ‘video-calling’ on said birthday to say that he has booked the parent a holiday at a cherished destination and to enjoy it though he may not be able to make it. It is why the sound of the opening strains of a favorite song make us linger longer than necessary near its source and it is also why just a whiff of a long-forgotten bar of soap can make a gloomy day come alive.

Grandiose gestures, goals and achievements are of course to be admired and if possible, emulated whole-heartedly. But in the race to reach this loftiness, it will not do to belittle the little things which go into their making. After all, all that it takes to form a pearl is a tiny irritant grain of sand! In the constant race for loftiness, it is sometimes not just a need, but also a relief to look back at the tiny steps which have led thus far. To send out a tiny reassurance to oneself, that the same power which created the sun also created the fire-fly, blessing each with a different light, and its own distinct place in the scheme of things.

For, on a dark night, it is the fire-fly which fills a floundering soul not just with hope, but also with wonder that even though the darkness is huge and all encompassing, a single point of light is all that it takes to dispel it. And thus, every gesture of love and kindness, no matter how small does contribute to happiness, although it may not be immediately apparent. All that is needed is the patience to await its blossoming.

Never has the race for the ‘bigger and the better’ been so apparent as in current times. With ‘give me more’ being the modern-day slogan, it is very easy to overlook the small deeds which enrich our lives far more than we think possible. With most of us leading dual lives: the real messy one, and the other glossy one on social media, never has it been easier to fall into the airbrush. In this endless chase of being or having the best, it is very easy to snuff out the tiny sparks of everyday joys. It is only when their tiny pinpricks of light are smothered and extinguished by the looming cloud of our own great expectations that we know what they were: stars in the dark sky to light our path.

It is therefore important to keep up with the tiny acts of kindness and caring. Smiling at the night-shift guard when he is stepping out for home, while you are heading out for your morning jog, thanking your maid for fetching you that cold glass of water without waiting to ask, when you step in after a long day, calling your parents in a faraway town, for no reason, other than to talk to them or sending an ‘All Okay?’ message to your spouse when you are out of town for work, despite the busy schedule, are all gestures which we normally dismiss as being too tiny to notice. But do them sometime and the joyful beams and happy voices you are rewarded with will be the rich dividends that you will reap.

If the universe can be built from the invisibly tiny atoms, we can only guess at the importance of the ‘small good deeds’ which will take root to grow into the redwoods of kindness and compassion, a sore need in the modern world. As we strive towards greatness, both personal and public, it is important to remember that true greatness lies in being great in little things.

As for me, thanks to Baba, I know that to keep savoring the sweetness of the jam biscuits in my heart, I have to keep sweating the small stuff!